The Right Time to Feel Good?

What I’m about to say is completely ironic and contradictory to both what I’ve been preaching and how I’ve been practicing. Self-positivity is incredibly important and one of my biggest messages in hosting The Roasted Mind, creating a space for honesty and deep discussion to bloom out of a desire to feel okay with where you are. I often find myself correcting thoughts of negativity with convincing arguments of how that negativity is wrong and how I’m just one man trying to do, look, and feel his best. Self-acceptance is so important to my message that, although I tend to feel strapped for time, I come back to The Roasted Mind and open up in a vocal and honest setting.

So why do I purposefully control these negative thoughts about myself?

Negativity and self-doubt are typically uncontrolled emotions, nuisances that pop in our heads and continuously nag about how this or that is bad, or maybe how you’ll never be good enough. My most recent example is how, although things are going incredibly well for myself with the Portland move and new job setting, I’m TRYING to find things to feel negative about. It does not feel right to just have good thoughts, in fact it feels like a halt in progress to feel good thoughts right now. I’m listening to music that lowers my mood, thinking of plans for isolation once I’m out there, or even searching online for BAD things about the area I’m moving to (okay, that last one might just be out of caution, but still why aren’t I looking up GOOD things?). It’s like I’m trying to stay static, which again is ironic because I just said feeling good feels static.

I think it could be that I’m used to problems arising big or small, and because now that things seem to be falling into place, I feel something bad is bound to happen. An emotional strategy for preparation, there really isn’t a place for negativity right now. I should be enjoying every moment of these rewards. I should be incredibly excited to get the ball rolling. I shouldn’t be tired in the weeks before, I should be full of energy and planning the coming days. Maybe it’s burnout from my current job, maybe it’s stress from lack of time to see everyone, maybe it’s a lack of freedom while under my parent’s roof temporarily.

When is the right time to feel good? Well… right now. Now is the time to feel good, now is the time to finish projects I have on the back burner, now is the time to make amends with anyone before I cut ties with everyone. Now is the time to feel good.

Dude. Everything is going to be okay. Just let yourself relax for one.

Thanks,

Alex.

I visited the tulip farm in Oregon again, this time with good company and an even better appreciation for what the state has to offer. Last time I visited I felt a deep connection to the farm due to my headspace. Now? Calm, almost in a nonchalant nature. Bliss.

I love this tulip farm.